Lake’s Birth Story

We couldn’t be happier to share Lake’s Birth Story on the blog today, But just a warning that I will be sharing about my traumatic birth experience, and Postpartum Depression.

Meet Lake Traumatic Birth Experience

I know that every baby is different and every birth is different. I prepared myself this time by taking a hypnobirth classes online, listened to different podcasts, read books, and learned a lot from several child birth experts.

But nothing could have prepared me for what really happened.

Lake’s Birth Story

Meet our beautiful baby boy, Lake VladImir Vainer. As most of you probably know (via Instagram) he was born a few days before our scheduled induction. I guess Lake decided he would make his appearance at 41 weeks instead.

I’ll be honest, as much as I was over being pregnant I would have much rather preferred for baby to come on his own. I wanted to avoid an induction if at all possible, in my head I thought the more natural the better.

Early in the morning on Thursday I was woken up by not only a strange dream but strong cramps. It was my second time going through this and I knew what that meant. Luckily, I had a midwife appointment scheduled for that morning, and since I was already experiencing cramping my midwife offered to do a stretch and sweep.

It wasn’t the most pleasant experience but I was set on him being born that day.

That afternoon I called my mom to get ready since she was going to be my support person. I really wanted Tony to stay home with Penelope since she’s never been away from us for more than one night. We figured as long as her dad was there it would give her some kind of normalcy.

By 3 pm my mom called to say she was on her way just in case. She’s got great timing because as soon as I saw her my contractions amped up even more.

Around 5pm we called my midwife to let her know that I was on my way to hospital. Grabbed my purse and anything else that wasn’t already in the car and drove the hour drive to Soliders Memorial.

At the Hospital

I forgot to mention that when I saw my midwife that morning I was already 2cm and 60% effaced. Which sounded promising.

Lake's Birth Story

By the time we got to the delivery room, my contractions we’re so strong and I was sure he was close. I tried to power through everyone. Little did I know the same thing was happening that happened with my first birth.

I would get these strong contractions, that were frequent but my body wouldn’t dialate.

Finally we made the decision to call for an anesthesiologist to do an epidural. I knew the risks associated with one, and that it could slow your birth down. But I did the same thing happened with Penelope and it gave me the rest I needed to push through.

It was 12 am, I was exhausted and all I needed sleep.

6 am is When This Birth Story Really Begins

a traumatic birth story

The next thing I knew I was being woken up by my (wonderful) midwife, asking me to change positions. We had lost the baby’s heart rate, and my midwife wanted to make sure he was okay. A nurse was called in help find him, which they did but it seemed like with every contraction the heart rate would go down or they would loose it again.

Did I mention that the epidural was now only working on my left side? meaning I could feel every intense contraction on my right.

By that time I was too concerned with my baby to care what was happening to me.

Then, we lost his heart rate again. This time for 7 long and excrusiating minutes.

I couldn’t do anything, I felt powerless and helpless. All I could do was lay there and cry as a team of nurses came running in. The OR was called, and I was wheeled away to have a C-section.

“I could feel everything!”

birth story and an unplanned c-section

I wish I could say that was it for my birth story, but it gets worse before it gets better.

Laying on the operating table the anesteologist who helped put in my epidural earlier was there, trying his best to keep me calm.

I felt like I was the worst person and that it was somehow my fault. I don’t know why I thought those thoughts because I know it wasn’t my fault in anyway. But I just want to be honest with you, and let you know it’s normal to feel like that.

Sometime between my epidural and they had to try to fix it before they could start on the cesarian.

After what felt like hours (really it was a few seconds) they were ready to do the cesarian. The doctor there asks if you can feel pokes before they begin to cut. Waiting a few more minutes in hopes the freezing would take over, and a sheet was raised so I could no longer see my body.

Even thou I couldn’t see what they were doing, I could defiantly feel EVERYTHING! Remember how I said I could feel my right side? I could feel every cut, every tug and I started screaming for help.

That was the last thing I remembered as I was given gas to go to sleep.

Meeting my Son for the First Time after Five Hours

Lake Vladimir Vainer was born on July 30th at 7:01 am. He was pink, healthy and scored normal on the APGAR scale.

To this day we don’t know what happened, the doctors thought it might have been the cord in a place he didn’t like, or maybe because of how long my labour was. He might have been tired.

The one thing that I find beautiful in this very traumatic birth story, was my mom being the first person to hold the baby. They will forever hold a very special bond because of this.

Lake Vainer's Birth Story with Mama

5 hours later, I woke up not knowing what just happened let alone that I just had a baby. I felt so angry that my birth experience was taken away from me. I understand why, and I would do anything for my babies, but it doesn’t make thee emotions any less real.

Seeing my baby for the first time, 5 hours after I gave birth to him will forever bother me.

But my birth story does have a happy ending, for now. I will share more in a Part 2 soon and in the mean time let me know if you have any questions, or if you need to chat. I understand now that 1 in 3 women will have a traumatic birth and I wanted to open the dialog in a safe place to share my story. I hope this helps even one person know it is all normal to feel angry, and sad after an experience like this.

If you are experiencing Postpartum depression or Anxiety please reach out. I found the following to be the best contact information for women in Canada, and the US: International Resources for Postpartum Support.

Looking for more personal stories PPA and mental health?

Postpartum anxiety q&a

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    1. Thank you so much! I had no idea so many women went through a similar experience, and I’m so happy I get the opportunity to share my story. <3

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